On eyelashes, artificial nails, periods, and South African TikTok discourse on feminism... (2025)

What a week.

What many topics I wish to speak about.

Sometimes I think that is the crazy thing about life, it does not happen in single, distinct events. It all comes tumbling down on you.

I spent 90% of this week with artificial eyelashes as well as artificial nails. The reaction of those around me to this was quite interesting. Mind you, when I decided to try out these, I only had myself in mind. At no point did I pause to ask myself how the people around me would react.

Some people thought I had stopped being a feminist because I had on eyelashes and some nails.

Deep sigh. At first, I took this personally but then after some *radical* reflections, I realised such thinking was bigger than me. It was never about me. It is a thought those around me walk around with, that to explore a side of myself I had never explored before meant I had parted ways with feminism.

Most thought I now had a boyfriend I was trying to impress. A very long deep sigh. I could not fathom how anyone thought I would spend about 45 minutes with my eyes reacting to the eyelash glue to impress a boy.

I am at a point in my feminism journey where I am bombarded by many thoughts on what my feminism should look like and honestly, I do not know what to say sometimes. And so, I kept quiet when people made these remarks on what they thought had influenced my decision to do my eyelashes and nails. Looking back, I wish I spoke up. I wish I asked them to say what exactly makes them think a decision to do something to slightly change my appearance is influenced by men.

And closing on that topic I want to say, I am still reflecting. On why we think the way we think as a society. On whether calling people out is mean. On whether educating people in my feminist beliefs is my responsibility to not only myself but those who will come after me, like my niece. I do not wish for her to do her nails one day as an excited teen trying them out for the first time only for those around her to reduce it to her wanting to attract the attention of a man.

On periods? Arggg period shame! I asked myself this week why I hide my pads when going to the bathroom to change. I have worked in menstrual health advocacy as well as period positivity so why is so hard to practice what I preach?

When a male friend asked me why I did not look well, I just said I had not been feeling well.

He probed until I explained to him that I had been booked off classes for the first half of the day because of the intensity of my period pain as well as crazy vomiting.

He then asked why I did not just say that in the first place.

I was speechless.

So, I did a thing. I carried my pad in the open, it was in my residence with girls only but oh my it felt revolutionary!

Why am I hiding it?

My period pain has been intense for a while now and I am talking to a medical professional to see the best way to go about it. Each month, depending on the intensity of my pain, I might have to take time off. I will no longer say oh it’s just a headache when someone asks me why I did not show up to something. I have crazy period pain and there is nothing wrong with it.

Thank you to that one male friend who made me question my internalized period shame.

I have painful periods that sometimes make me unable to participate in my day-to-day life and there is no shame in that…

I have painful periods that sometimes make me unable to participate in my day-to-day life and there is no shame in that…

I have painful periods that sometimes make me unable to participate in my day-to-day life and there is no shame in that…

I have painful periods that sometimes make me unable to participate in my day-to-day life and there is no shame in that…

I have painful periods that sometimes make me unable to participate in my day-to-day life and there is no shame in that…

And finally what a week it has been for South African feminists on TikTok!

Stitches, comments, duets and whatnot.

One of the things that set off quite many reactions was a creator who labelled the feminist movement as “cute”.

The same creator was accused of being a pick-me by others on TikTok. Essentially suggesting that they thought she was “ridiculing” the feminist movement to be noticed by men as not being too feminist.

Mmmmh?

I do not have much to say about the video the creator in question posted as I have only been on the feminist side of South African TikTok for like a week or so.

I am however intrigued for lack of a better word by the idea of performative feminism many referenced when debating on whether or not the creator ever really identified with the feminism movement for the right reasons to now label it “cute”.

I continue to ask myself, why feminism?

Am I a feminist for the right reasons?

Will I stick by feminism even when the odds do not favour me, whatever that looks like?

When we engage in performative feminism, who is affected?

I am a feminist but what does that mean?

I am a feminist but is my life feminist? Are my decisions feminist?

So many questions hey!

Now sitting at my desk, typing about this past week… I cannot believe I lived through so much.

I am thankful for all these experiences that shaped me into being a better human. A better feminist. A better menstruator who feels no shame.

That is all for now, yes.

Thank you for stopping by this Substack which is more than a Substack to me. It is my portal for so much as an aspiring writer.

As a writer……. For I am a writer who uses writing as a way to process this life thing.

see you soon?

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On eyelashes, artificial nails, periods, and South African TikTok discourse on feminism... (2025)

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